Do NOT have unprotected (UP) sex before completing your first three practice cycles
Take the time to learn this method thoroughly before going UP. Learn the rules thoroughly, learn to classify CM correctly, and learn to recognize a pattern within your temperatures.
Waiting for your three practice cycles will give you time to:
- Understand which outside factors may affect your temps,
- Learn the temperature range for your follicular and luteal phase (LP)
- Discover how long your LP is so that you may know when to expect menstruation (aka AF or Aunt Flow).
Do NOT skip reading “Taking Charge of Your Fertility.”
TCOYF has much more to offer than tips on how to avoid or achieve pregnancy. It talks about reproductive health, signs of menopause, natural ways to balance your hormones, and much more. Every woman should read it at least once, regardless of their fertility goals.
Do NOT trust predictions or automatic markings from any apps or devices (read ALL ABOUT this concept)
App predictions are usually based on previous cycle history. Anything based on cycle history is the rhythm method, which is NOT what we practice as method-following FAMers. It is dangerous to assume you will ovulate at the same time you did in previous cycles because many factors may cause early or late ovulation. We observe our fertility status DAILY and only rely on the primary fertility signs (temperature and cervical fluid) to dictate where we are in our cycles, per the studied rules.
Do NOT choose quantity over quality, in terms of cervical mucus
Never think you are safe because you only observed “a little bit” of CM. Quantity does NOT matter! Any amount of ANY CM (yes, even sticky or creamy) that is observed means your fertile window is now open. During that fertile window, you need to stay protected until the rules have confirmed ovulation.
Do NOT mark a temp questionable unless there’s a valid reason
Valid reasons could include fever, taking temps extra late or early, alcohol, etc. I know, I know, you just want to confirm ovulation!!!!! It sucks when your temps are not cooperating, but it is important that you do not mark a temp questionable so that you can confirm ovulation. There has to be a valid reason for a temp to be deemed questionable.
Do NOT use our community as your primary source for learning FAM
Do not get me wrong; we are certainly here to help. However, your primary source of learning should be from the method you’re using (TCOYF, Sensiplan, Justisse, etc.). At minimum, this means reading and carefully studying your method’s book(s), but working with a FAM educator is ideal and the best and fastest way to get the highest efficacy out of FAM. Be sure that you know the rules yourself and do not go UP just because someone in the community says it’s safe. Cross-check everything, and anytime you question a member’s advice, get a second opinion.
Do NOT use two decimals when charting in Fahrenheit with TCOYF rules
Many women think that using two decimals will make their chart “more accurate.” However, charting temps to only one decimal place (like this: 97.5) is all that is necessary and no less accurate. Using one decimal makes observing the shift smoother and more apparent, especially for Kindara users, as the temperatures will always be on a line. For a temp-shift to meet the rules in F, it must be .2 higher than the highest of the previous six temps. Since you’re looking for a .2 degree difference and not a .02 degree difference, the extra decimal is unnecessary. If you use Kindara, it may be a good idea to record the entire temp (0.00) but then change your settings to (0.0), and Kindara will scientifically round the temps for you. If you ever need to see the whole temp, when you change the settings back to (0.00) that full temp will be available.
Do NOT go UP prior to confirmed ovulation (pre-OV) unless ovulation was confirmed during the PREVIOUS cycle AND the rest of FAM rules are being followed
You must stay protected until ovulation is confirmed. If you experience a bleed, but ovulation has not been confirmed, it is considered a breakthrough bleed, which is not the same as a period. Therefore, you are still in the same cycle and are in your fertile window. Your body may continue to attempt ovulation, even during that bleed. This means you must stay protected until ovulation is confirmed per the rules (not just symptoms) or you risk pregnancy.
Do NOT go UP on a dry day if you’re in your fertile window
If you are seriously TTA (tracking to avoid pregnancy), you should aim to be as conservative as possible. Dry days are no longer safe once your fertile window has opened. If you observed CM on CD8, but then have a dry day CD11, you are not safe for UP on CD11. Some women have what we call a Basic Infertile Pattern (BIP), which means they may have a few sticky days that are considered infertile, and this is normal for them. BIP should only be determined while working with an instructor. Do not attempt to make this assumption on your own.
Do NOT use a Cervical Mucus-only (CM-only) method unless you have sought instruction from a FAM instructor
Yes, it is possible to have safe days with CM-only methods, but this should be done with an instructor. Some women experience CM constantly, which may make identifying their safe days tough. Mucus-only methods require an instructor.
Do NOT check your cervical mucus only a few times a day.
Be sure to check for CM at EVERY chance you get. Check for mucus before and after each urination and bowel movement, before and after a shower or exercising, and anytime you’re naked. More than likely, you will not find CM at every restroom stop, which is why it’s essential to check at each one. If you only check a few times a day, there’s a BIG chance you will miss the CM. Before utilizing the dry day rules, CM must be checked at every opportunity throughout the day.
Do NOT rely on anything other than temperature, cervical mucus, and/or cervical position as a fertility sign.
These three primary fertility signs are the only signs that can confirm ovulation has happened, and only after all of the rules have been met. Other symptoms, such as ovary pain, pelvic pain, back pain, nausea, etc., can NOT confirm whether ovulation has happened, no matter how regular those symptoms seem to be. Several other factors can cause these symptoms, so you should never assume you are experiencing these symptoms because of ovulation. Many unintended pregnancies have resulted from people following symptoms alone, as opposed to the established fertility signs/biomarkers that have been scientifically studied and validated.
Do NOT change your temping routine in the middle of your cycle
An example of changing your temp routine would be getting a new thermometer, replacing the batteries, changing the time you temp, or switching from oral to vaginal or axillary. If you wish to change your temping routine, it must be at the start of a new cycle. If you do choose to switch mid-cycle, you must mark all previous temps taken that cycle as questionable.
Do NOT take your temp more than once in the morning
Only take one temp in the morning with your thermometer. If the temperature seems abnormal, mark it questionable. Do not take more than one temp with the same thermometer. Repeat attempts should be deemed inaccurate since the probe would already be warm. Taking more than one temp only causes confusion, as many women do not know which temp to record. If you do take more than one, ALWAYS record the first temp taken.
Do NOT assume your partner knows you’re in your fertile window
To “ASSUME” makes an ass out of you and me! Ever heard that saying? With FAM, making assumptions can have huge consequences – unintended pregnancy. Communication is VERY important when it comes to making this method work. NEVER assume your partner magically knows when you’re fertile and needs to use protection. Always make it clear well in advance with a clear and unmistakable verbal statement/warning, as simple as “I’m fertile right now, we need to use a condom” before penetration takes place.
Do NOT assume a day with non-peak cervical mucus (sticky or creamy CM) is safe for unprotected sex
ALL cervical mucus is fertile!!!!!!! Once you notice ANY CM, your fertile window is now open!!!! YES, you can get pregnant from a sticky day! YES, you can get pregnant from a creamy day. Eggwhite and Watery are the “most” fertile and referred to as Peak Mucus. However, Sticky and Creamy are also very fertile and referred to as Non-Peak mucus.
Do NOT confuse a user error with a method failure
This is not to call out charters who’ve made mistakes, in any way! However, by specifying the difference between a user error and method failure, you’re eliminating the possibility of scaring others who practice or wish to use this method as birth control. ALL birth control has a failure rate, even FAM. However, FAM is often frowned upon in society. Our goal is not to assign blame to the method when there was a user error. It’s easier to ‘blame the method’ when someone falls pregnant rather than reflect upon whether the rules were appropriately followed. A user error is when a rule(s) was broken, and the charter became pregnant. Method failure is when all rules were followed, but the charter still fell pregnant.
Do NOT underestimate vaginal sensation (click here to read all about this)
Vaginal sensation is the feeling you feel around the vaginal opening, the vulva, and how the tissue glides across your perineum when you wipe. The most common sensations felt are dry, smooth, and lubricative. Vaginal sensation is just as important as observing CM. A lubricative vaginal sensation will usually mean CM is present, even if there is none to observe visually. There could be some in the cervix that hasn’t made its way down yet. You should not ignore a lubricative sensation just because you did not find CM. You have this sensation for a reason!! A dry sensation usually indicates there is no CM present. However, if you find CM but have a dry sensation, you are still considered fertile and should stay protected.